It is that time again, where I tell you some of the world’s best survival tips. Today will be ones including the ground you stand on. Let’s start off if you’re on a pure dirt ground. And this dirt has to be rich, dark soil. The kind that almost looks like yummy crushed up oreo pieces. And after it rains, the worms come up. They actually almost look like real worms. Anyone else think the same? No? Okay, just me, but that’s alright. Once you find this great dirt, you’ll never think the same about it. You can thank me later. Anyways, let’s get on with it. Now, you may be asking once again, what would this do any good for you? Well, this dirt will make your body have these superpowers. I know, I know, you think I’m crazy, but you’re the one that keeps coming back for these tips. The first thing you need to do is to dig a hole out of the ground that will fit you. The easiest way to dig the hole, is to have it horizontally. This way, because it will be less time to dig the hole itself. Once you have dug the whole, you must lay your entire body in the hole. Oh, and before you get in the hole, make sure you leave enough of the dug up dirt next to you. You want to do this, because you will eventually cover yourself in the dirt. Being in the hole and the dirt covering are two most essential parts. You have to lay in this for a minimum of two hours. I know this seems very ridiculous, but you have to trust this one. In the meantime, you can watch the birds or something. Whatever pleases you. But, after a couple of hours, you will be able to get out. A warming first, your legs will most likely be a little wobbly. After that, just shake the dirt off of you and wait. Just take a walk or something like that. You just need to get your mind off of it. They won’t just magically come if you continuously think about it. But after all of that, something will come. I should have mentioned this before, but this is a hit or miss kind of thing. It’s a 98.9% of the time kind of thing. But don’t worry, three out of the five times I’ve tried, it worked. I have gained powers of super fast speed, ultra strength, and being able to see better. You might not think it’s much, but trust me, you’ll understand.
This also works for other types of grounds. Ones including the sand. And this can be any kind of sand too. I have heard that sand will give off different kinds of powers. You could get the ability to blend in with your surroundings, know where a water source is, and even the ability to construct a home out of that very sand. I haven’t tried any of these myself, but I have other friends who’ve gotten these outcomes. Don’t tell anyone else, but the guy able to blend in with his surroundings, got a nasty rash, but that was mostly because he got into something. Well… That’s what I hope for at least.
There are other grounds that work, such as that dusty dirt, but I’ve heard that stuff gives you tumors. Maybe you should just stick to ones I mentioned. And if you can’t find the exact kinds I had mentioned, you can go to the lesser ones. For example, if the soil isn’t that nice moist rich stuff, you can always go to the ones that are less moist. And for the sand, you can always find the really really dry stuff. There’s no problem with these, it’s just that they don’t produce the best of the best kinds of powers. Just a far warning. I have to disclaim this kind of thing now, because last time I gave some of this advice to someone else, they got a little butt hurt from not getting the super strength. Oh, sorry for the language.
Anyways, enough of that. If you get the chance, I would highly suggest you do this. These things are very good to know when you’re out in the wild trying to survive whatever catastrophe you’re going through. You may think these tips are a little outrageous, but if you want to trust me on one thing, it should be survival tips.