Best Survival Tips You’ll Ever Need to Know: Part8

I hope you all are still preparing for the near world ending apocalypse. I haven’t forgotten about you. Last time we talked about how to prepare yourself for tornados, tsunamis, and hurricanes. This time we’ll be discussing earthquakes, wildfires, and blizzards, so let’s dive in already.


First we’ll be dissecting into earthquakes. These can be harmless little guys all the way to groundbreaking. Not a good pun? Okay, we’ll move on. Since the world will be near an end, these earthquakes will not pass by. They will be the ones you see in the movies where you’ll literally be torn apart from your across the street neighbors. Now, what you’ll want to do is make some type of contraption that will allow you to fly. I know what you’re thinking already, how do I do that? That, my dear friends, is going to be very easy. The supplies you’ll need will be long thin objects, such as 2×4’s, golf clubs, broom, etc. Other things will be some type of tarp or fabric, the strongest glue you can find or cement, and a string. With all of these, you’ll be able to create your own pair of wings! The long thin objects would be used for a structure, the tarp or fabric would be used for the main part of the wings, the glue or cement would be used to stick them together, and the string would be used as a halter to put them on. These homemade wings will make sure you won’t be falling and dying when the ground is splitting underneath you.


Next off are wildfires. These suckers can be just like earthquakes, they can be small but also very large. A small fire can be put out with no problem, but the big boys are something else. First of all, you’ll need to make sure you have some type of concoction that will allow you to breath in any circumstances, whether that an oxygen tank or what not. If you do need any help with this, go to your local supermarket and ask for Mr. Survival, they’ll know who you’re talking about and you’ll be set. Now the next part is very simple. When a wildfire happens, you’ll most likely be by yourself and in the woods. What you’ll want to do is dig a hole in the ground that will fit your body. I suggest digging the whole vertically, but if your don’t have much time, do it horizontally. Get yourself in and cover the whole. The ground is known to be cooling, so you won’t be hot and since you’ll have the breathing concoction, you’ll be fine. If the fire is very big, make sure to have some food with you. You don’t want to be safe and then die of hunger.


Last but not least, blizzards. The cold is terrible and most hate it. I mean, who doesn’t hate being super cold and most likely getting sick afterwards. We all hate it, even the ones who say they love it. Elsa says’ the cold doesn’t bother her, but we all know she got a cold later on. Anyways, back to business. If there’s a blizzard coming, it’s probably already snowing, so first, find a secluded area where no crazy people can come and take over. Then, start to build an igloo. Since you probably don’t have ice blocks, just use the snow. You’ll need to pack in very hard and to make things stick even better, you’ll need to spit on some of the areas where you’re packing the snow so it stays even better. After building your igloo, big a hole into the ground and make your fire there. After doing so, everything will be a piece of cake. You may get cold at some times, but that just means you need to build your fire up a little more.
I hope you all enjoyed this two parter of near world ending survival tips. Make sure to stay safe and to take this breaking news in all seriousness. No one wants to die when they could survive.


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